Rudd and Obama compared

 I honestly have nothing to add.

Click here  for more sporting leaders pics at The Age.

 

Australian athletes holier than now attitude to drugs

Another Olympics and another claim that Australia’s squeaky clean Wheat Bix-munching athletes are the only ones who don’t take banned performance enhancing drugs.

According to news.com.au a poll of our Olympic team reveals three in four believe athletes will be taking illegal performance enhancing drugs at next month’s Games. But a similar proportion is adamant Australian athletes will not be among the sporting frauds, meaning the Aussie team believes it will not be competing on an even playing field in Beijing.

It’s amazing how quick Australian athletes are quick to preach about drug use, yet when an Australian gets caught, and there have been a few, there’s always an excuse or explantion like:

• My mum gave me some pills – Shane Warne
• My coach gave me some pills – Samantha Riley
• I drank a shit load of coffee – Pentathlete Alex Watson
• My trainer gave me an injection - disgraced racehorse Arunluk
• Fuck! Look over there! – Hawthorn and West Coast Eagles football clubs

Let’s wait and see how long it is before an Australian athlete loses a race and insinuates drug taking by the victor.

Monkey see …

 

Usually the bullshit off-field sports stories come before match day because the press needs something to fill sports pages with.

So now that we’re in the throes of one of the best one-day international finals for ages isn’t it time to drop the whole Harbhajan versus Australia thing?

Matthew Hayden’s silly remarks last week about the Indian spinner being “an obnoxious weed” served no purpose other than to deflect the much deserved attention of Allan Border Medallist Brett Lee, one of the true good cricket stories this year.

Before winning the medal Lee denied there was any tension between the Australian and Indian players only for Hayden to contradict him, unprompted, on radio by a couple of FM jocks who couldn’t believe their ears.

Then, instead of concentrating on Sachin Tendulkar’s  brilliant century to put Australia one-down in the finals, the media, led by the Fairfax press, went ape shit over false claims that Harbhajan made monkey actions to a bunch of drunks in the crowd.

First things first, if Harbhajan is guilty of anything it’s Worst Monkey Impression Ever!  

Sunshine State my arse!

 

This a rain gauge.

I shit you not I am going to shove it up the arse of any Queenslander who dares make an ill-informed criticism of Melbourne’s weather ever again.

Why does Cricket Australia continue to schedule matches in Brisbane during the middle of its stinking wet season? Isn’t it enough that half the population of Queensland is actually in the Australian team?

Sydney can fuck off in this regard too.

Come on! Pull your head in Hewitt

I don’t how he can, but Australia’s most unpopular sportsperson is registering his arrogant hand gesture that has become the symbol of what a little shit he is.

I’m not sure how trademarking the movement of a bodypart will pay off for Lleyton Hewitt. Even if we had to pay him royalties, the money won’t exactly come rolling in as it’s not exactly a gesture that one makes normally unless they:

• Are doing a hand puppet show which involves having a discussion with an emu
• Are an ancient Egyptian
• Are an unloved tennis player who often talks to the same hand they’ve long had sexual relations with.

Anyway the “vicht” salute isn’t even Lleyton’s. The rights were actually held by former Swedish players Matts Wilander (someone whose compusure and sportsmanship Hewitt can learn from) and Niclas Kroon who let the trademark lapse. It is also used by other sportsmen like Grant Hackett (an Aussie sportsman in the true sense of the word) and Adelaide Crows defender Andrew McLeod as well as millions of other people who happen to have an arm, hand and wrist.

 

The Usual Suspects

Another Australian Open Tennis tournament, another display of foolish thuggery concerning Greek, Croatian and Serbian fans.

If Sudanese or other Muslim kids so much as fart in Melbourne there are calls for their deportation and claims they simply aren’t assimilating. Yet we allow these buffoons, many of whom have never been to the country they so love to champion through their thuggery, bring old hostilities to a sporting event under the guise of supporting players from their countries who, unlike them, have moved on from all the hatred they love to spew out – interestingly, while many happily like to “fight for their country’s honour” on Melbourne’s streets, they won’t be caught dead in their country for fear of having to do National Service. What patriots!

Make effigies, not war

Unless you live in a cricketing nation, that is a country which considers cricket a national sport, as opposed to one that reveres members of the Gryllidae genus of insects, you may not be aware that war has broken out between Australia and India over a game of cricket which ended amid accusations of cheating, racism and bad hair.

Normally a war between a nation of 1 billion and one of 22 million would be considered a mismatch, but fortunately for Australia the Indians are a peace loving people who have the perfect solution to demonstrating unbridled violent anger without actually killing anyone – burning effigies.

As people of Latin origin like to let of steam by swearing, throwing things and having rough make-up sex, and Americans like to express their angst with automatic assault weapons, our friends on the subcontinent like to burn dummies that represent the object of their ire.