Anti-desal protestors should speak for themselves

I like the idea of a desalination plant. If Dubai can lush green golf courses I’d like to be able to grow a few square metres of lawn and not have to replace dead plants every spring, without fear of breaking the law. I also want to have 10 minute showers and enjoy the lovely sound of sprinklers on a warm summer’s night. 

And while I sympathise a little bit with the NIMBY’s in South Gippsland who don’t want the plant built in the Wonthaggi area, I take issue with the name of their protest group “Your Water, Your Say”.

OK it is my water, and I say build the fucking desal plant!

I think “Our region, our say” would be a far more appropriate name. Or, if I was being more cynical, “Our property values, our say”.

It should be about the noise, not what makes it

There are some things you can complain about in your neighbourhood and get sympathy even if you’re being an over-reactionary NIMBY twat - housing for disadvantaged people, load music at a rock venue that was around before Billy Thorpe and the Aztecs and an airport that has been operational since aircraft were made of wood, wire and canvas.

Quite often two people can have the same complaint but receive a different reaction to their cause depending on the source of their complaint.

For example, if your street was filled with cars every night and your driveway was blocked because of the Ramadan celebrations at a local Mosque, you’d get a 300-member action group, local newspaper support and council parking-restriction signs faster than you can say “not in my backyard Mohamed”.

But, have the same complaint about local traffic and parking problems caused by your neighbourhood’s over exhuberant outdoor Christmas light displays, and you’ll be branded the local scrooge who fucked baby Jesus and ate him.

It’s the same with the woman who complained about the constant sound of a gun going off next to her backyard every Saturday morning, which caused great distress to her and her baby. If the shots were noises from a construction site, or military training she would receive plenty of sympathy. But because the gun shots are the starting pistols of the Kew Little Athletics Club, she’s branded an un-Australian, blow-in, NIMBY bitch.

While I agree it’s odd that she is the first person to complain about the starter’s pistol in the club’s 30-year history, I think that her grievances should be considered before jumping down her throat - maybe the noise is horrible; maybe it does cause distress. Does it make it better because it’s being used to start races by good little Aussie Vegemite kids who may become Olympians?

Again, it should be about the complaint, not what causes it.

Brighton residents with more dollars than sense

I nearly spat out my tea this evening watching Channel 7 news, which had a story about a protest by the well-to-do residents of Brighton, in Melbourne, who were protesting for the re-installment of manual railway gates.

The rail company wants to install electric boom gates, pretty much like everywhere else in the fucking world, but they want the antequated system back because it’s a quaint reminder of Brighton’s heritage - I wonder how many of them live in one of the horrible neo-Georgian townhouses that popped all over the suburb in place of some of Melbourne’s most beautiful old homes.

Some of these idiots even went as far as to stand across the train line holding placards to oncoming trains - smart! 

I wonder how many of these fools don’t give a flying fuck about heritage and are actually worried that boom gates come with the added sound of warning bells? There’s always an alterior motive with such protests.

Get into the 21st century cock heads.

Greenies salivate at bullshit car pollution figures

The Age, still smug over convincing a few people to turn a few lights out for an our before going back to their usual high-consuming lives, has published a story headlined Car lovers drive pollution surge which says “Victorian motorists have contributed to a massive surge in greenhouse gas emissions, with State Government figures showing transport pollution has soared by more than 25% in the past two decades.”

Shocking stuff. But then about 10 paragraphs later this line: Road transport, which includes all passenger vehicles and truck freight, is the largest component, contributing 14.8% of the state’s total emissions (I would have thought it was much higher).

Truck freight? So it’s not just car lovers then. That’s what the headline implied - lying fucks!

Interesting too how the story does not mention how much growth there has been in the number of vehicles in the past two decades - selective fucks!

What shits me about these kinds of stories is that it assumes that people get up in the morning and get on the West Gate, Eastern or Monash Freeways to get stuck for 40 minutes because they love nothing better than  listening to Kate and fucking Hughsey. Or that when they have to drive grandma to hospital it’s simply because they fancy the drive. Why are cars becoming the new smoking? I am fucked if I’m going to apologise to any cunt for driving a car or justify when or where I fucking well use it.

The story then goes on to say that these damning statistics will bolster opponents of Sir Rod Eddington’s recommendations to link Melbourne’s freeways - that’s all we need, more fucking NIMBYs.

Don’t these stupid fucking people realise that if there were seamless freeway links and better traffic flow that cars would spend less time on the roads thus there would be less pollution. Same with parking spots.

Greens MP Greg Barber predicted Labor would “lose votes everywhere” if it built the new road tunnel. He said the project would “soak up billions of dollars that could be used more efficiently moving people around by fast public transport”.

Yeah? Well Greg Barber knows shit!

There needs to be better public transport AND better roads. One need not be stronger than the other. We live in a huge city and unlike some inner city types, who live, work and score drugs within a one kilometre radius, most people have to work, access services and shop well beyond where they live.

For fuck’s sake, let’s stop this anti-car bullshit and ensure that Melbourne is easily accessible by all forms of transport.

NB: The author catches the train to work everyday.