How long before Malcolm Turnbull packs his bags?

Face it, the only thing keeping Malcolm Turnbull in the Opposition Leader’s chair is the fact that there’s no one in the shadow cabinet who is more capable or electable. However there are bound to be a few in the Liberal Party with big enough egos to blind them from this fact.

Turnbull obviously doesn’t realise how much he fucked himself up with Utegate. That’s why he says ironic things like ”The Australian people want us to move on and deal with the important issues – about jobs, the future of their economy”.

Perhaps if he stuck to dealing with jobs, the future and the fucking economy instead of embarking on disastrous smear campaigns, his popularity would be considerably better than that enjoyed by his predecessor Brendan Nelson, who suffered those numbers before Kevin Rudd had a chance to do anything stupid.

Short of Kyle Sandilands ripping off his mask and fat suit and declaring that he is actually Kevin Rudd, the damage Turnbull has inflicted upon himself is terminal meaning it’s not a matter of if he will lose the leadership before the next election, but when.

So, I’d like to carry on where Grods left during the Brendon Nelson era and invite you to suggest when you think Malcolm Turnbull will lose the leadership after:

• Stepping down
• Being deposed as Liberal Leader
• Getting shot by AFP officers after suffering a mental breakdown, running through parliament naked and attacking Bronwyn Bishop with the same hunting knife he used to crudely cut his hair
• Other.

Nearest to the date will win a prize yet to be determined – but it will be good. Oh yes, it will be good.

Bonus points if you name his successor and share your thoughts about any other way he could lose the leadership. 

Go for it.

Turnbull’s hypocritical budget response

So Malcolm Turnbull has challenged Kevin Rudd to drop his plan to take the Medicare rebate to save more than a billion bucks in favour of an increased tax on cigarettes – the Liberal’s thinking is why raise money on a policy that could see increased demand on the public hospital system, when the same money can be raised by a tax that could reduce demand on the public hospital system.

All very well. However, within hours of Turnbull’s budget response Labor shot down the one thing that Turnbull could put up against Labor’s “mountain of debt” (expect that phrase to get a fucking decent airing in the next few months).

Assistant treasurer Chris Bowen was quick to respond: If the Opposition wants to get serious about using tax as a health measure, Bowen said, they should get behind the Government’s alcopops legislation.

Malcy pwned!

Bipartisanship Malcolm Turncoat style

Malcolm was very cross when Anthony Albanese took his iPhone

There was a great skit on Newstopia last night where a Labor adviser accused the Liberals of “only knowing government and being too inexperienced to be an effective opposition”. I pissed myself laughing at that, but then thought how spot on that is.

First there was Brendon Nelson who opposed everything for the sake of opposing it. A good idea if you’re an opposition leader. But opposing the things that got Labor into power was always going to make The Forehead look like a bigger knob end than he already appears.

Enter Malcolm Turnbull, who looked the fucking goods. Someone who can keep Wayne Swan in check with his financial experience while also beating the PM about the head with big wads of cash.

But then he did something enormously stupid. He not only disagreed with a popular move by Labor, but he disagreed with a popular move that he himself agreed with.

Today Turnbull  said the government should be condemned for establishing an unlimited bank deposit guarantee that Reserve Bank governor Glenn Stevens says is creating serious dislocation in the financial system. 

Yet on October 12, when the Prime Minister announced the decison to guarantee all bank deposits, Turnbull not only offered bipartisan support, but actually took credit.

“It’s a very important step and we will undertake to give the Government every assistance in ensuring that the necessary legislation will pass through the parliament promptly,” he said at the time, not realising too late that agreeing isn’t really his job.

Which is why, less than two weeks later, he is wants to censure the Prime Minister, for doing what you said was a great idea.

There are times when some people need to learn to shut the fuck up and this is one of them. I think Malcolm was getting worried he was looking impotent as his deputy, the stiff-haired Julie Bishop, looked a more effective leader of the opposition by questioning the package before such questions became fashionable.

Lift your game rich boy.

Let’s face it, most of us are “out of touch” not just Turnbull

The Government’s attack on Malcolm Turnbull’s wealth and his apparent inability to associate with everyday Australian battlers is a shallow, dog-whistle dig that Labor hopes will resonate with voters.

The fact is all politicians, are out of touch with those struggling to make ends meet as would anyone who earns a minimum of $130,000 a year knows they’ll be sorted for life come retirement.

This was ably demonstrated by Labor MP John Murphy, who used parliament to complain about the allegedly piss-poor amount of beef stroganoff that his wife was served up at the Parliament House canteen.

But while everyone is quick to jump on Murphy for his petulance, is he any different to the rest of the population who are doing pretty well but expect the world and complain about every minor inconvenience.

For example are people who complain that it’s getting to expensive to fill the petrol tanks of their $60,000 four-wheel-drives in touch with struggling pensioners?

And what about everyone who criticised the Rudd Government for cutting the baby bonus to people earning more than $150,000?

You never heard too many people say “I don’t need the money give it to pensioners instead”.

The thinking is that we’re entitled to anything the government can give us.

Ironically, it’s the Liberal Party, which is condemning the Rudd Government for not raising the single aged pension, which chose to spend billions of the budget surplus, when in government, on tax cuts and hand outs for middle and high income earners, rather than on the most vulnerable in our society.

It is the same party which, while calling on the government to allocate billions to raise pensions, is opposing a luxury car tax that will add just a couple of thousand dollars to the price of a $100,000 sports car, as though that will have an impact on anyone who can afford such car.  Surely if they are that worried about pensioners they’d approve the luxury car tax on the proviso the money raised would to raising pensions.

The Howard Government raised the battler bar to include people who are living pretty comfortably. Sure most people will complain about petrol prices and interest rates, but that doesn’t stop shopping centre and superstore car parks being full at weekends.

How many of these people can honestly say they are in touch with those doing it really tough?

The Liberal Party has a very short memory when it comes to terror cases

There were calls today by the newly led Federal Opposition for the sacking of Attorney General Robert McClelland to be sacked for making comments about the terrorism convictions in Victoria.

As the ABC reports McClelland spoke publicly on Monday after the conviction of six men in a Melbourne court, but at the time the jury was still deliberating over two other accused. While he did nothing majorly wrong, his actions did attract criticism from the trial judge

Opposition Leader and former battler Malcolm Turnbull says he was reckless and put the trial at risk: “Out of pure incompetence, the Attorney-General put a headline ahead of taking on the challenge of terrorism,” he said. “He has been defended today by the Prime Minister, who claims his government is tough on terrorism.”

And the shadow Attorney-General, George Brandis, says he should be sacked.

I have two words for these fucking Liberal clowns - DR HANEEF!

You stupid fucked up hyprocrite cunts! The Attorney General was referring to verdicts already handed down. While he maybe should have waited for the rest of the cases to be settled he at least did not interfere with the judicial process for political gain, like your cunt, Lego man-looking, former immigration muppet, “Captain Catholic” Kevin fucking Andrews – who was not doubt acting the way he did because he had John Howard’s hand up his arse, but took the shit for the PM who was his usual gutless self!

You are seriously calling for McClelland to be given his marching orders after your government, for political gain, embarked on a racist and cynical hatchet job on a totally innocent man, which may well have ruined his life, if not for the mechanisms of our judicial system which thankfully you never managed to fully fuck up during your regretful 12 years at the helm of our once great nation.

Cunts!

For the sake of Australian politics, Turnbull has to strike now

I saw Malcolm Turnbull on the 7.30 Report tonight. Yes he’s a pompous Liberal git, but he’s got a presence that makes you want to hear what he has to say even of you don’t necessarily agree.

Whereas Brendan Nelson is about as attractive to listen to as a piss-crusted tramp asking for a cigarette.

Interesting that when Kerry O’Brien put this to Turbull, in a different manner of course, Turnbull replied with: “What I can say is that Brendan as the full support of the Party … “.

Is this as opposed to ‘What I will say is that Nelson is a fucktard with an extremely large forehead and once I get the numbers I’m going to fuck him good with one of his six guitars”?

Honestly Libs, don’t wait for the Budget or Liberal by-election, do the spill now.

P.S. Keep Julie Bishop as deputy leader, she a hottie.