What is it with the Right and stupid

Saw this comment from a Rudd hater on the Herald Sun web site. It was about Australia avoiding recession and recording excellent balance of payment figures for the March quarter.

Well that’s just great, we avoided a recession by putting ourselves into massive debt that will take decades to pay off. Great thinking. Talk about short sightedness.

Posted by: Kelly Andrews of FOOLS 12:50pm today

THAT WAS THE POINT OF GOING INTO DEBT YOU STUPID  DUMB CUNT!

At least the stupid bitch got where she’s from right.

So, the police suspect you’re a killer arsonist …

So, the police suspect you’re the arsonist responsible for the Marysville fire that claimed the lives of dozens of people. Do you:

A) Seek legal advice on the best course of action to establish your innocence?

B) Get yourself plastered on the front page of the Herald Sun in an effort to whip up public support. This is despite the fact no charges have been laid and that if indeed you do get arrested you’ve forgone all chance of anonymity meaning every vigilante dickhead in the state knows who you are and where you live?

C) Go on A Current Affair to do a fucking lie detector test only to give the impression you may be hindering the polygraph by moving your head, thus giving potential jurors across the state reason to think you’re dodgy. Your cause isn’t helped by the so-called lie detector expert  who says on national television “”Usually I find truthful people sit still and co-operate and want to exonerate themselves, but consistently he kept moving.”

D) B and C

I hope bushfire suspect Ron Philpott didn’t do it, but Jesus Christ he’s not helping his cause by putting himself at the mercy of the Herald Sun and A Current Affair and jeopardising his chances of a fair trial if indeed he is charged. Please, someone from Legal Aid speak to this guy before the fucktards are set loose.

Shut the gate on shit headlines

There’s a scene in The West Wing where presidential adviser Josh Lyman is surprised at the treatment a White House issue has received in the press.

“Mayflowergate? That’s a ‘gate’ already? No way is that a ‘gate’…”

Scandals don’t come much bigger than the Watergate Affair. So much so that many a high-profile scandal since has been renamed to include the word “gate” as a suffix. The process is so common it has been given a name; gate-reconstruction.

Famous scandals with gate construction include:

Camillagate – the taped telephone calls between Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles

Corngate – the suspected introduction of genetically modified corn in New Zealand

Irangate – a name given to the Iran-Contra affair, in which the Reagan Administration sold weapons to the Contra Rebels in Nicaragua.

Fair enough. Since then gate-construction has been used for sporting scandals, some of which are worthy enough. But the Australian media has starting taking the cliche too far, recently with Chickengate, the episode where North Melbourne footballers made a movie featuring a rubber chicken fucking a raw chicken.

But today the Herald Sun has totally gone overboard with gate-construction by referring to a quote about a hack Collingwood ruckman by a hack former coach turned media commentator. 

So, born from the  scandal that involved the theft of documents from a hotel room on the authorisation of the President of the United States I now give you

No way is that a fucking gate!

Eddie McGuire makes a great point on asylum seekers

Sometimes you forget that multimedia millionaire Eddie “Everywhere” McGuire is a big lefty. He wrote a good piece in the Herald Sun today, which calls on a new policy for asylum seekers while condemning the panic and “racist tinged” rhetoric.

Compared to some of the absolutely appalling reporting this issue in the Herald Sun, it’s good to see McGuire put things into perspective.

Here’s a snippet of McGuire’s article.   

The current Government has hardly thrown open the doors. And let’s get things into perspective – so far there have been six boats, not 600. That’s 264 passengers who all go through an exhaustive checking routine on Christmas Island before they get in.

Yes, four of those boats have arrived in the past fortnight. But that’s my point, it’s not unexpected. That is still a tiny number compared with the numbers seeking asylum in Britain and Canada.

So stop panicking … . Given this has proved to be a life and death scenario, surely the boring, predictable, racist-tinged appealing to the worst side of our nature and the rekindling of fear in the populace led by our politicians and news media can be put aside so that a coherent policy can be implemented … ?

What is badly overdue is a hard and fast, rigorous policy on immigration and asylum seekers – a policy based on the needs of Australia, the humanitarian philosophy of our country, but with an iron hand of enforcement.

What we don’t need is scare-mongering tactics over an issue that for the year so far has seen fewer people arrive than sit on one morning train to Flinders St.

The good thing about McGuire writing such articles is that he’s not seen as a usual-suspect bleeding heart. Hopefully he’s got through to some of the masses whose bigotry is based in ignorance.

No shit Sherlock!

While today’s bikies are, according to Andrew Bolt, far more violent than ever before I didn’t think they’d go around shooting their mates. So it’s good to know there are experts in the field of bikie violence within the NSW Police Force to come up with the above conclusion.

A tale from two cities

The Olympic welcome home parade bandwagon rolled into Adelaide today, though there seems to be some confusion as to whether or not the parade was a success.

According to Adelaide Now, the web site of the Adelaide Advertiser:

Adelaide thanks Olympians at city street parade

ADELAIDE’S Olympic parade was slow out of the blocks – but thousands of flag-waving patriots ensured a big finish for the stars of Beijing.

But of you if you read about the parade on the Adelaide-bashing Herald Sun web site you had the same story with a slightly different intro and headline:

Adelaide fails to thank Olympians at street parade

ADELAIDE has welcomed home its Olympians – but it was hardly a show-stopping event with underwhelming crowds and few big-name athletes.

That’s nice dear

From the choices below, fill the in blank from the first par of this story from the Herald Sun.

Melbourne model Kelly Landry has beaten a strong field of starlets to win the prize role of …………

A) Australia’s Ambassador to the United Nations

B) UNICEF Ambassador

C) Face of Tourism Australia

D) Apprentice of the Year

E) Letter spinner on Wheel of Fortune

If you guessed E you were correct. Women have really come a long way and so has the Herald Sun in its never-ending quest for a decent local angle.

 

This why politicians should appoint an Australian president

For some reason it has been decided that the new Lord Mayor of the City of Melbourne should be a high-profile person who does not necessarily have to live or own a business in the city.

The Herald Sun as an online poll asking readers to choose an appropriate new Lord Mayor from the likes of Eddie McGuire, James Hird, Rachael Griffiths, Geoffrey Rush, Jeff Kennett, ACCC chief Graham Samuel, Daniel Grollo and Peter fuckin’ Costello.

 

Why? Melbourne needs a Lord Mayor who is switched on to the city’s needs, can forge good relations with the state government and has vision? Jeff Kennett, Daniel Grollo and Graham Samuel probably fit the bill , but why do we need any sort of election to be a popularity contest.

This is why Phil Cleary and his Republic-hijacking cohorts and their want for a “people’s president” can go and take a flying fuck!

I am a republican and campaigned for the ARM model (similar to appointing the Governor General) amongst Aussie expats in London in 1998. But give me the Queen any time than any of these people on a ballot for Australian President.