I hope Messrs Murdoch and Blunden don’t mind me borrowing a pic gallery from the Herald Sun (look I attributed and linked it) to rate some of the fashion choices amongst the Melbourne Cup crowd.

This is good to see.  A nice, well-dressed couple. While I don’t like the red tie he gets points for matching her hat. His hat works too. 
Can’t see the whole outfit on her, but it looks elegant, though a wider brim on her hat could have improved things a little.
Is she showing too much bosom? No, you can never show too much bosom. 

Oh how fucking original, dress up as a bishop. That is so fucking 1988. At least he never dressed as a nun. Cunt!

Mix Shane Warne with a mentally reatarded zebra and a white pork pie hat, and you get cunt!

The plastic cup is the only thing that works here.

These girls were dressed by the wardrobe department of production studio that specialises in barely-legal-teen porn. For fuck’s sake this is the races, not some nightclub at Docklands that lets underage girls in because the big Maori bouncers thing they might be in for a root.
Girls, you’re too young and cute to be slappers, but you’ve managed it.
Dear God! Is that girl on the right wearing a bra top?

Just humour the old cunt!

No complaints here!

Guys dressing up in drag at the races is a bit old hat isn’t it?
What? They are actually women?
Jesus suffering fuck!

Honestly, can someone tell him to fuck off!

Mmmm, full of MILFy goodness! That reminds me, I better check my RSVP account.

I thought they sent the photographer to the Melbourne Cup. What the fuck was he doing in Gertrude Street?

Full points for originality and gorgeousness!

Bullshit, sheilas? Really?

OK maybe you can show too much bosom.
Ah, no, you cannot.

Dimmies or dimmos?

There’s a shitful ad on high rotation on 3AW, particularly during Sports Today, which has a bunch of voiceover actors pretending to be working class chaps having a laugh at the expense of a mate named Davo who went on a three-week cruise “and there weren’t any sheilas on board”.

A few analogies follow and one bloke chips in and says “that’s like a takeaway shop not having any dimmos”.

I assume the stereotypical tradesman type was referring to dim sims. Whenever I hear it I punch the steering wheel and yell obscenities because any real tradie worth his tool kit would refer to dim sim as “dimmies” – fucking dimmos!

So am I right? Is it dimmies or dimmos?

It might be worth mentioning which state or city you’re from – perhaps there’s some kind of regional variation.

I’m starting to think that to some people the word “Comment” means give it your best shot at being a stupid cunt.

While I’ve come to expect that there will always be fucktards making comment about issues such as asylum seekers and Labor government policy you sort don’t expect to see rampant cuntishness in a simple story about the retirement of a footballer considered by many one of the most decent blokes to have played the game – Geelong Premiership Captain Tom Harley.

Yes I’m a Geelong supporter and that’s a reason why I’m way overreacting to people who just think that having an opinion means showing that there really is a case for selective homicide to rid the world of stupid. But I’m not allowed to yell out “bunch of cunt” at work so I’ll take my anger out here. You don’t have to read it, but I bet you know you want to.

Wispy of Windy Hill Posted at 10:57 AM Today
Hurley is hack he chock in grund final against hack hawks his not as good play as his might borther mick hurley from might bomber!!!1 the might bomber will win back to back flogs in 010!!1

OK, I might have to forgive this chromosome deprived fuckwit. Should we expect anything else from an Essendon supporter?

Sav of Melbourne Posted at 10:59 AM Today
Here it begings … Harley will go and then the others will follow within the next couple years. Then lets wait and see how the Cats will fair. They will be like Brisbane who lost all of their older players and started to go down on the ladder.

Yeah Sav, two Brownlow medallists still in their mid-20s and a team that will go in next year pretty much unchanged except for a few young blokes putting their hand up for bigger role. I bet you follow Collingwood. Cunt.

Nick of Melbourne Posted at 11:52 AM Today
Worst footballer to have won two flags.

Is that all you can offer knob-end? I bet you have kids because you managed to fluke a couple of fucks. And I bet your kids hate you because when they draw pictures with messages saying they love you, you say stuff like “you’re no Leonardo DaVinci”. Why do you do that? Oh, I know because you’re the thinking man’s cunt.

Richard of Elwood Posted at 12:40 PM Today
Whoopee. Ordinary player

I bet that’s what that prostitute you paid said

david of mordialloc of mordialloc Posted at 1:01 PM Today
Disappointed the hack is gone. Geelong will get better without him.

I bet you’re an upset St Kilda fan, upset St Kilda fan of Mordialloc of Mordialloc.

I’m not normally into blogging by links, but if you want a good belly laugh you have to read this story from the NT News  about a woman denying that she had oral sex with the driver of a car, thus causing an accident.

Her quotes are gold and make Chk Chk Boom girl seem eloquent.

FORMER Carlton champion Brendon Fevola has been traded to the Brisbane Lions amidst allegations he groped a female journalist, wore black face, shot a kangaroo in the head with a crossbow, tortured Buckley the puppy and threw his daughter off the West Gate Bridge.

Fevola, whose full-forward position at Carlton is expected to go to Joe Hockey, who admitted this week that he was sounded out by The Blues, has also been blamed for rising interest rates by failing to wind back the economic stimulus.

The allegations arose as the Coleman Medallist, Australia’s second most unpopular man after Federal Opposition Leader Malcolm Turnbull, took time out from his holiday on the Kakoda Track where he twice died of heart attacks, to attend a press conference to confirm his signing with the Lions.

Asked if was glad to be leaving Melbourne, Fevola said ”bloody oath” because, as Andrew Bolt pointed out, the city had no major landmarks when compared to other cities around the world including Paris, Prague, New York and Dunedin.

Fevola, whose antics have rightly overshadowed the Pacific tsunami and Sumatran earthquake, said he was the victim of a smear campaign by West Australian players.

He then asked why he was the target of such hatred for having what he called a “bender” while criminals like Mick Gatto are treated as heroes in Melbourne and get to have celebrity book launches and their story published as extracts in the Herald Sun.

In other news, Australian scientist Elizabeth Blackburn has won something called the Nobel Prize.

First of all let’s get some house keeping out of the way by naming and shaming a couple of journos for forcing quotes from ”experts” to justify a bullshit story.

Clementine Cuneo and Gemma Jones of the Herald Sun have used not one, but three experts to back up what has to be the most ridiculous piece of beat up journalism I have seen in the that paper for a very long time – and believe me dear people that is fucking saying something.

The story by News Ltd’s answer to Woodward and Bernstein pretty much says that bikini outfits for toddlers sold at Target lead young girls into growing too fast – the story then goes on to attempt to link them with everything from eating disorders to girls in their early teens partaking in “sexting” – that is sending lurid text messages.

It also implies that any parent who buys their kids an outfit such as the one pictured is promoting some kind of sexual awakening in their little girls. 

You know a story is on a one-way trip to arsedom with a line like: “The Herald Sun found crop-top style bras for toddlers aged two to three on sale at Target, sparking outrage from parents.”

What parents are outraged?

I was expecting our friends at the Australian Family Association to turn up in the story, but instead journalism’s wonder duo dug up Dr Louise Newman, Professor of Developmental Psychiatry at Monash University; Dr Joe Tucci, CEO of the Australian Childhood Foundation and Victorian child advocate Julie Gale, who runs an organisation called Kids Free 2B kIDS.

What concerns me about the use of these people is that most of their quotes seem very general and do not directly relate to little bikinis for toddlers.

For example:

The trend is taking a heavy psychological toll, said Dr Louise Newman, Professor of Developmental Psychiatry at Monash University. 
“I’ve seen children suffering from clinical depression in primary school because they don’t feel they are pretty enough or thin enough or able to be popular,” she said.
“The girls are worried they won’t get boyfriends, girls have started defining their self-worth in terms of themselves as a sex object.”

That might be true, but is it because of a fucking bikini top?

And this:

Dr Joe Tucci, CEO of the Australian Childhood Foundation, said unprecedented numbers of young children needed psychological help.
“In an unprecedented way this generation of children are being exposed to adult concepts far earlier than they are ready to understand,” he said. “Kids as young as seven are worried about the way they look, whether they’re attractive to young boys. They lack self-esteem and confidence.
“If they don’t feel like they fit into those messages, they feel like they are not as good as other kids.
“An impact is depression and anxiety, which we are seeing an increase of in unprecedented levels.”

He could be talking about any number of reasons here.

What girl never wore a bikini when she was little? How the fuck does that exploit them sexually and send them on a downhill spiral of depression and pre-teen sexual activity.

I have two daughters. They are good kids, very well balanced and thankfully show a level of naivety that’s pretty normal for their ages. And guess what they wore little bikini tops when they were toddlers. As my nine year old just said ”it’s to stop people seeing your boobies”.

If the Herald Sun is really concerned about little girls having body image, then maybe they should have a look a lot of advertising and editorial content within the pages of its own fucking rag to see the crap that’s being put into kids heads. Thing like:

Any excuse to show Jennifer Hawkins in a bikini

The paper’s obsession with the aptly named Rebecca Twigly.

Obesessing over a woman because of what she wore to the Brownlow Medal

Need I go on?

I read with absolute disbelief this comment to a story in the Herald Sun about Victorian Premier John Brumby refusing to discuss the extradition of an Indian man, who fled Australia after being charged with a fatal hit and run accident, during his visit to India.

Fashionista Posted at 2:58 PM Today
One set of rules for indian students! By Brumby refusing to deal with the situation he is breeding racial disharmony. Send them all home I say!

Good to see the Herald Sun readership is blessed with so many fucking humanitarians!

Melbourne, once the city with the shittest weather this side of New Zealand, has become so dry that when we actually do recieve some decent precipitation the joint comes to a complete and utter fucking standstill. Cars crash, children under the age of seven scream, dogs run away and footballers hide like bitches inside cars during Grand Final parades.

The other thing I have noticed is that most people don’t carry umbrellas anymore and are caught out by the rain. And those that do have umbrellas have forgotten how to actually hold one without doing harm to some poor  fucker who wanted to get through life with both eyes attached to their head.

This causes frustration, but even I was shocked this evening when a woman accidentally poked another woman’s face with her umbrella at Southbank, only for the victim to yell out for all to hear: “Watch where you poking that thing I nearly lost my eye you stupid fucking slut!”

I’ve got to say, this was rather unexpected coming from a very well dressed woman on her way home from the office. I mean, it’s not like she had a St Kilda jumper on or anything.

A story broke today about young Essendon footballer Michael Hurley being locked up after assaulting a taxi driver after an all-night piss session that started at the Footy ShowGrand Final Edition After Party. The young Bomber spent several hours in police custody after allegedly kicking and punching a taxi driver after an all-night drinking session. He was later released pending summons and could face assault-related charges.

The last line in the Herald Sun story said: “The cabbie, believed to be an Indian man, received minor injuries in the incident.”

This is pretty serious shit. What we have here is a story that’s a combination of some big issues at the moment. Alcohol fuelled violence, assaults against Indian people and footballers behaving badly. Most people would think the kid is a fucking dickhead (and there were a lot of comments which pretty much expressed that), but not all. As far as some fucktards are concerned, the Indian cab driver must have somehow been responsible for this fine young white footballer to kick and punch him.

Some cum soaked douche bag named Mick agrees:

mick Posted at 10:34 AM Today 
 I would like to see taxi drivers in Melbourne taught a couple of things, 1 how to use deodorant, and 2, how to speak English before we start dishing out cab licences !

As does this sarcastic bucket of arse snot

Allen Ridak of Melbourne Posted at 10:35 AM Today
I’m sure the cabbie is innocent here; they never do anything wrong.

Then there’s this fuck-knuckle who reckons cabbies deserve a belting simply because they dare charge for their service. The stupid cunt is also implying that Indian drivers charge more than others.

Sean R of South Morang Posted at 11:16 AM Today
Did we really need to know if the cabbie was indian? Here we go racism and everything else with riots and such. Cab drivers need to back off and stop harassing passengers especially with the ludicrous prices they charge and 1star service.

And then there’s this piss felcher who think’s he’s Sherlock fucking Holmes.

Matt of Williamstown Posted at 11:22 AM Today
There’s two sides to every story. Melbourne’s knowledge of cabbies is that they are rude, arrogant and inconsiderate to customers. I would assume that Michael Hurley was going into Hungry Jack’s to get food before continuing on his cab journey home. The cab driver then became rude and demanding of the fare and Michael overreacted by kicking him. I don’t by any means condone Michael’s actions but ensure the media has the whole story before attempting to bring another footballer down like you have through the week with Fevola who did nothing more than have a few too many friendly drinks with the boys.

Yeah, and how in fuck’s name do you know this you presumptuous piece of fucking rancid knob cheese! The police arrested Hurley, not the taxi driver. What does that tell you? Are you a detective? No? Than fuck off!

nick of crazyburn Posted at 11:42 AM Today
the taxi driver deserved it.

Yeah, like you deserve to have your arse ripped to fucking shreds by the biggest, baddest, meanest and sex-deprived sadists in a Nigerian prison. Cunt!

Sally of Melbourne Posted at 12:52 PM Today
If it was like the cabbie I got the other night demanding $40.00 from Crown to Essendon I don’t blame him

 That’s about the going rate you stupid fuckin scrag. So, did you bash that driver? Did you?
Do you work Sally? Would you like it if someone came to you work and kicked and punched you because they didn’t like what you charged them – actually as a two bit junkie hooker who does tricks in cars and alleys and charges an extra $10 to take it up your wizards sleeve without a franger you probably do know what it’s like.

Seriously though, this is the one that got me – how in fuck’s name is such insightful, racist and ugly commentary allowed on the web site of daily newspaper?

Feedup of Indian fed sqaure Posted at 11:31 AM Today
Good on Hurls, you have just done what everybody else wants to do to cab drives in Melbourne. How about writing an article on the state of the taxi system and the drivers, its a disgrace, they are aggressive, smell and insulting. Bring back a government that gets the job done and makes decisions…instead of spending money on scoping projects and further studies…Action requiredor its going to get worse. Stop stuffing about with the India government, how about looking after Australian’s

The online editors at the Herald Sun should hang their heads in fucking shame!

A friend of mine was at a chemist in South Melbourne earlier this week when a tall young man walked in and asked for sleeping tablets (this isn’t a joke by the way). When she and the woman behind the counter realised it was St Kilda star Nick Riewoldt they went a bit ga ga and started chatting with him.

Not surprisingly he was very friendly and revealed that he had trouble sleeping. So, was it nerves in what is the biggest week of his career? No. It’s a bird  outside his bedroom that keeps him awake (not Stephanie McCintosh).

So, if St Nick has an ordinary match this Saturday we know why.

As a Geelong supporter all I can say is “good little birdy”.