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Archive for the 'Religion' Category


Spaced out lesbians call the kettle black

Posted by clubwah on July 11, 2008

I love the intro to this story about one of the countless groups waiting in line for a bit of Catholic bashing this week, in this case a group of Raelian dykes.

A GROUP of glamour lesbians who believe the world was created by an alien civilisation 25,000 years ago have criticised the Catholic Church for being out of touch.

Oooookay, that’s uhm … great. So I take it Scientology is OK then.

Posted in Religion | Tagged: , , , , | 9 Comments »

Catholic ‘Facebook’ status updates

Posted by clubwah on June 13, 2008

The Catholic Church in Australia has launched a social networking site simular to Facebook, in the lead up to World Youth Day celebrations in Sydney.

I started wondering if it has status updates life Facebook and what they’d say. Here’s some suggestions.

  • Wah is doing the rosary
  • Wah is repenting
  • Wah only did his Holy Communion for the presents
  • Wah wonders when people started holding out their hands while saying the Lords Prayer
  • Wah wishes the chior wouldn’t sing every prayer - even the simple Amens.
  • Wah is hoping confession will be enough to absolve him of all those murders he done
  • Wah is looking forward to giving out communion tomorrow
  • Wah is secretly pro-choice
  • Wah knows he’s old when the new parish priest is younger than him
  • Wah asks what would Jesus do?
  • Wah went to a Baptist ball and pissed in the non-alcoholic punch
  • Wah asks, what happened to all the nuns?
  • Wah was never sexually abused
  • Wah thought sex before marriage was a sin, until he had sex before marriage.

Feel free to suggest your own.

Posted in Media, Religion, Techshit | Tagged: , , , | 9 Comments »

Let’s hunt some Herald Sun-reading fucktards shall we

Posted by clubwah on June 3, 2008

Tell me the Herald Sun did not publish this story to stir up more racial hatred against Muslims, as if the poor bastards haven’t suffered enough of it this week. Note how they illustrate the story with women in Burkhas, which trades on people’s fear and prejudices against Islam - why not a pic of a mosque?

The article, about Muslims leaving regional Victorian cities like Warrnambool because there were no mosques in which to worship, sparked the usual fucktard comments along the lines of “if they don’t like it they should go home”.

The story mentions how the Islamic Council of Victoria wants ”to lobby the local council about building a mosque in Warrnambool”. While this could mean getting planning approval to build a mosque without being subjected to hysterical xenophobic objections, most readers who commented saw this as a request for the council to build a mosque. Of course you can imagine the comments that came with that.

So, I have loaded my AK-47, the semi-automatic rifle of choice for communists and Islamic insurgents and have trawled through the comments to put large gaping exit wounds through the orgy of fucktardery, ignorance and xenophobia that the Herald Sun’s online editor has proudly cultivated.

Let’s lock and load.

Now imagine if i was in Saudi Arabia whinging that I wanted to build a church. They would be off with my head..talk about double standards and hypocrisy. Don’t like it, move back to Mecca..simple!
Posted by: Habibi 8:08pm today

How funny, you use the name Habibi but that’s not your real name is it? It’s a fun name because you actually hate Muslims. If your post was against blacks you would have used the name Jigaboo, or Hymie if you dared be as anti-Semetic as you are anti-Islam. Actually the Saudi’s have agreed to build a Catholic church in their country after King Abdullah met the Pope a few months ago. And guess what, the Pope still has his head, which is more than I can say about you, you brainless cunt! Also Mecca isn’t where most Muslims actually come from. That would be like telling you to go back to the Deni Ute Muster, you stupid redneck fuck!

Muslims in Australia are lobbying for mosques! Count yourselves extremely lucky in this great land of freedom where you all can practise FREEDOM. Take a look at people of other faiths in many of those predominantly muslim countries, they have no freedom of speech, no freedom of religion, even no freedom of dress code. They interfere with how non- muslims dress up, they consider their own way of doing things as the best and the most holy. Anybody who is not a muslim is discriminated against. Their religion is just SKIN DEEP. The Camden incident is a true reflection of democracy and freedom at work, people can vote for what they believe in and practise fair go for the Camden residents. Muslims should not retaliate because your actions speak louder than your belief. Respect the voice of the Camden community, this is Australia not the country from where you came from. Otherwise you can never have a good reputation anywhere in this globe.
Posted by: Katharina Thomas 7:02pm today 

Thomas is your married name isn’t it. You’re Kate McCulloch’s stupid sister aren’t you, you fucked up ingnorant bitch. Get your fucking facts right before mouthing off about Muslims. As for Camden what the fuck are you on about? What Muslims have spoken out or retaliated against the Camden community, despite the disgraceful treatment they received for wanting to build a school. All these people want is a mosque to queitly worship in, not to tell you or me how to dress - though I’m sure a full face Burkha would probably do you wonders you fucked-up ugly bitch.

I believe everyone has their own religion. However, religion is something you should keep it at home not expose to the pubilc. I agree with Cynthia that people came to Australia because it’s a democrary and a peaceful country, therefore, if they can’t integrate into this culture, then they might as well go back to where they came from. This is not racists but realistic. Just like when you come to someone house, you have to follow their rules not you set the rule. You would not like it if they do that to you, right?
Posted by: Peter Love 4:05pm today 

Wrong, you ironically named fuckwit. What does wanting to pray have to do with not assimmilating and destrying the peace? How is being a Muslim not intergrating when so many other religions are accepted? And what the fuck are you going on about exposing one’s religion to the public by building a mosque - have you heard of churches, synagogues and temples you fucking dumb prick? Get fucked and catch syphallis.

When a mosque is built, the land it is built on becomes islamic land. I dont think we would want victoria becoming a Muslim State. it is happening to London, UK also. Google it.
Posted by: John of Melbourne 3:47pm today 

The Dumb Cunt club needs a new constitution, a bit like the USA, where the same person can’t be elected Dumb Cunt President for more than eight years running because, John of Melbourne, I’m sure even you are sick of continually being voted the most supreme dumb cunt of all, you dumb cunt. For the record, the UK’s Muslim population makes up just 2.8 per cent of the population - Google it. The Queen better buy a burkha real soon.

One of our family friends is a Muslim doctor from Egypt. He’s been in the country for years and is a very well respected member of his community. No mosque either. A mosque is not necessary for the pursuit of Islam as a religion. And cynthia, you’re wrong. Muslims don’t like democracy - it’s the antithesis to the totalitarian society advocated by their religion. They do like our wide open spaces with it’s trillions of dollars of mineral resources though…
Posted by: Shane 3:47pm today 

I see, by telling us you have a Muslim friend you want us to believe you’re enlightened, yet that Amazon tribe that shot bows and arrows at the helicopter last week are more aware than you Shane - gee, that’s a nice name. So Muslims don’t like democracy hey Shanee - fuck man, what are countries like Pakistan, Bangladesh, Egypt, Malayisa, Maldives, Burkina Faso, Gambia, Guinea, Mali, Senegal, Chad, Djibouti, Albania, Kosovo and Turkey doing wrong? Now go away quickly, you’re shitting me.

What utter crap, You simply cannot move to another country or area and then complain that it is not to your liking. Our village doesn’t even have a proper bus service, let alone a mosque, so how about giving us some decent public transport and then these whingers can use it to leave and go somewhere else.
Posted by: Ian of Emerald 3:41pm today

All these people are saying is that why would prefer to live in a town with a mosque so they can attend their Friday prayers. Why does that piss you off so much Ian? Go take some happy pills, in fact take the whole fuckin’ bottle shithead!

Maybe they should’ve done their homework before they came to Oz.
Posted by: ar of nsw 2:36pm today
 
 
Yeah you’re spot on ar. If THEY knew about the hate they’d be subjected to without any of our political leaders having the guts to stand up for them for fear of losing the popular vote they might have chosen New Zealand or Canada instead. You Fuck knuckle! Also, anyone who calls Australia Oz, is a cunt.

 

Posted in Community, Media, Racism, Religion | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

Why do overt expressions of faith spook us?

Posted by clubwah on April 9, 2008

Having two daughters I had to endure the suffering that is watching the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards, which was a mixture of prepubescent screaming, a cavalcade of suprisingly A-list Hollywood and music stars and an obsession with green slime.

I must admit when Miley Cyrus, daughter of Billy Ray and star of the show Hannah Montana came out to except an award I was reasonably pleased for her and impressed at the young teenager’s confidence and stage presence.

Then she dropped the C word - “… I’d like to thank my lord and saviour Jesus Christ!”

My shoulders dropped in shock, my eldest daughter did a slow backward moonwalk away from the television, as though careful not to startle it, and my youngest yelled out “Did she just thank Jesus?”.

We’re used to seeing rap and R&B artists and American sports starts thank their lord and saviour Jesus Christ, but there’s something, dare I say, unwholesome about it coming out of a youngster. It’s as though my concerns about my kids wanting Hannah Montana merchandise are misguided and that if I watch the show carefully I’ll actually see subliminal messages trying to convince the girls to don white robes and drink the special Miley Cyrus Grape Kool-Aid drink; the recipe of which you’ll find on her website - “Dad, do we have any c-y-a-n-ide?”

A strong committment to Christianity will probably do the girl’s already booming career a world of good in America, but how far would Delta Goodrem have got if she praised her lord and saviour Jesus Christ on national television - cancer or not?

A lot of people agreed that Guy Sebastian could sing, but everyone knew that his hopes of becoming a huge star in Australia were doomed because of his Bible-bashing background - not that he flaunts it.

And what about when Aaron Baddeley came from nowhere to in the Australian Open in 1999. Even as he putted the 18th to take the title, potential sponsors and sports agents where writing six-figure cheques and bigger contracts and Aussie golf fans hailed a new messiah, only to find he hailed his even more. You could hear contracts being torn and everyone wishing Adam Scott all the best for his future as soon as Baddelley thanked his lord and saviour Jesus Christ during the presentation.

Fore some reason being out there with your religious beleifs is not a quality that endears one one to Australians. We’re happy to accept the failings of many personalities, even those that include violence and drug abuse, yet we’re cool on anyone who prefers the Bible to booze. Why is that?

And why is it that you never see people blaming their lord and saviour Jesus Christ when they don’t win an award or sporting event?

“Aaron, you were leading by four shots until that triple bogey on the 15th. So what happened?”

“My fucking lord and saviour Jesus Christ, that’s what happened!”

 

Posted in Culture, Religion | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 33 Comments »

If there is a God why did he make Kirk Cameron?

Posted by clubwah on January 31, 2008

ray_comfort-kirk_cameron.jpg 

In case you didn’t know, former teen idol Kirk Cameron became so stricken with guilt for his role in imposing Growing Pains on the world that he found God to repent his sins; in the same way that child killers do shortly before going to the chair.

Not content with going away and spending his days in remote monastry in silent prayer, he formed a multi-media evangelical Christian ministry called The Way of the Master, with a guy named Ray Comfort, who reminds me of an English teacher I wished death upon in Year 10.

The duo use television, radio, books and the internet to present their ultra-Christian values and, while not as disturbing as the wackos who use religion as a means to peddle hate, they are pretty pushy in  getting their message across using selective passages from the Bible to back up their views where it suits them. 

Not content with using “proof” to disprove evolution and teaching us how to “Witness” homosexuals, Jews and Muslim Acts, the pair use everyday things to prove that everything was intelligently designed by God and that scientific theories such as evolution and atomic creation are rubbish.

This is no more evident than with the humble banana, which as you’ll see in this enlighting video  is made to perfectly fit the creases of our gripping hands and even has an ergonimcally designed top which is as easy to open as a Coke bottle - what more proof do you want that God exists? I always knew that Darwin fellow was full of shit.

One thing though. While I admit that even the Swedish couldn’t have invented a better banana, I’d like our right-wing fundi’ bible-bashing friends, to explain what the hell was our creator thinking when he came up with oranges and coconuts? And have you tried gutting a fish?

Posted in Religion | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »