Fuck the banks. FUCK THEM!

Notice there are no more armed hold ups at banks like there used to be? It’s because the banks have us fucked from every angle. Those same ruffians who used to don balaclavas and shove a sawn-off in a piss-pants-terrified teller’s face, have since been so fucked and damaged by the banks in return that their spirit is broken. Now they just mug school girls carrying laptops.

I’m glad I no longer have a mortgage. I’d rather give my landlord $300 a week than a bank more than that in interest to live in the same house. And I have resigned myself to the fact that while the world economy is in the shit I’d get fuck all interest on my savings.  So I was pretty chuffed a couple of weeks ago when I saw that BankWest had an online savings account that offered 5 per cent with access to your money when you wanted it.

I opened the account a couple of weeks ago and have been waiting for my interest to roll in. So imagine my dismay when I went into my local BankWest branch today and saw that big 5% headline on the posters for the Smart eSaver account have been covered up with 4.75%.

I asked a guy who worked there (and was doing fuck all) if that rate applies to anyone who opened that account when it was 5 per cent and he gleefully said yes.

I yelled out,” why you fucking smug cunt”, grabbed his stapler and scooped the eyes out of his fucking head like a wog shucking oysters*.

What in the fuck is going on BankWest? You’ve bought the interest rate down on a savings account despite the fact there hasn’t been an interest rate cut since you introduced the said account. At the same time you and your parent bank the Commonwealth Bank, failed to pass down the latest interest rate to home loan borrowers when it was passed. I can only conclude BankWest that, while you pretend to be the happy small bank, you’re just a fucking cunt like the rest of them.

Where’s the rage? Why do we put up with shit? Why do savings interest rates go down but credit card rates stay high? Why? Because we do fuck all about it. And why are things so expensive these days? 500g Coles brand shredded tasty cheese costs $6.45. Cunts!

Fuck youse BankWest and Coles!

* Sentence may be historically inaccurate.