I pissed on John Howard

I had a rare Saturday-night venture into Melbourne’s CBD at the weekend for a friend’s birthday drinks and after spending an enjoyable evening at Rue Babylon’s surrounded by a group of gorgeous women, we ventured to a great little joint called the Horse Bazaar, which, despite its involvement with experimental art and music, was an enjoyable and rather unpretentious venue, which uses visual media, in the form of projections on the wall, as well as music to entertain.

The urinal in the men’s is the best I’ve ever seen. It actually has a movie on it, obviously rear projected as I caused no shadow standing in front of it. As I did what it was that led me in there I noted that the vision being shown on the said piss tray was Riverdance, which was rather exciting because I can think of nothing better than pissing on the image of that obnoxious, God-awful Irishman Michael Flatley.

As I tried following directing the stream of piss at the foot-tapping ponce, I realised with great joy John Howard’s head super imposed in the footage of Lord of the Dance - talk about a great way to ensure men don’t piss on the floor!

Fortunately someone else has done what I wish I did and filmed this brilliant piece of functional art on their camera phone.

It only occurred to me after I left that I never checked the story inside the cubicles. Next time.