Vale Colin Murdoch

I had a good idea once - alcoholic iced-confectionary, that went as far as a friend and I buying his sister an ice cream maker for her birthday so we could try out our innovation, only to find alcohol has a much lower freezing temperature than water - which pretty much fucked our plans and consigned the ice cream machine to the bottom of the kitchen cabinet next to the bread maker, waffle maker and Soda Stream.

I have never invented anything of use hence, like jugglers, I am in awe of the talents of people who invent really good useful things - not least because they managed to come up with a new idea after 150 years of industrialisation. 

One such man is New Zealander Colin Murdoch, who sadly passed away at the weekend. Known mostly for inventing the disposable syringe, Mr Murdoch also patented the the tranquilliser gun (what a great trivia question), the childproof bottle cap and the silent burglar alarm died.

And us Aussies crap on about the fucking Hills hoist!

Why is this man not a more famous New Zealander than Sir Edmund Hillary and Lucy Lawless? A statue should be built in his home city of Christchurch at once!

Shit, Albrechtsen’s right you know

I don’t mind right-wing commentators when they aren’t foolishly condemning the good intentions of unknown people they categorise as “The Left” while carrying on like card-carrying Liberal Party apologists with missives that are designed to provide literary fellatio of the the Party’s far right faction in NSW.

One of the worst offenders, Janet Albretchsen, has finally wiped her chin and come out with a good piece  in The Australian (yes, I said good and will shower three times) about the knee-jerk reactions by governments to tragedies.

The catalyst of her piece was calls for tougher boating laws after the tragic Sydney Harbour boat crash that killed six young people - despite the fact several existing laws were already broken in the leadup to the disaster including the boat being taken without permission; over crowding and the obvious involvement of alcohol.

She says that although the government seems to want to look like it is doing something to respond to the grief about such events, “Our sympathy for those killed and injured should not prevent us from recognizing that stupidity appears to have played a part in Thursday’s accident. We cannot and should not regulate for the lowest common denominator.”

The same thing happened happened here in Melbourne after the horrific crash in the Burnley Tunnel in which several cars, and three drivers where crushed and incinerated after a truck plowed through them. The state government immediately introduced laws to ban overtaking in the tunnel and discussed lowering the speed limit to a ridiculous 60km/h, well before the coroner released any findings.

Since then a truck driver has been charged with three counts of culpable driving, which showed how misguided the new measures were.

In her column Albretschen actually praises former UK Labour Prime Minister Tony Blair who criticised the ever growing blame culture.

Interestingly a lot of the people who comment on her column started with stating their disbelief that they actually agreed with her. Keep it up Janet, you might start earning some respect.

Dr Who has lost the plot!

This weekend Brendan Nelson showed he is either fucking nuts, or a Labor plant sent in to finish off his Party’s good work - like storm troopers going in after the Luftwaffe’s Blitzkrieg to mop up any pockets of resistance.

Opposing a means test for the Baby Bonus, Dr Nelson, implied that the allowance was given as an appreciation of little babies, rather than a way to couple to have children to keep the birth rate up to counteract our ageing population - while having the added benefit of a vote-winning bribe to the middle classes.

He said ”It’s very, very important that Mr Rudd understands that every mother loves her baby and this should be an Australia where all babies are equal.”

So how will denying rich people the baby bonus change that?

Anyway, not all babies are equal Dr Nelson, and I haven’t seen you or any politician for that matter come out and say how unacceptable it is whenever a child is found dead because over-worked and underfunded social welfare services failed to read warning signs or simply were unable to do anything when they did.

I never saw you, when you were education minister, stick up for state schools and create a funding model that didn’t favour our most elite private schools. And I never saw you oppose a child care funding models that allows listed companies to make mega profits from early education, resulted in child care centres closing in inner city areas and ignored parents who could not find a child care place.

To say the means testing the baby bonus means the government does not value all babies is without a doubt the most stupid thing you will say during your short and disastrous time as opposition leader.