Richie Sambora jailed – let’s not let the truth get in the way of a good blog
Posted by clubwah on March 18, 2008
I have a confession to make. I saw a headline on Google News which said Richie Sambora jailed for fraud and thought that the Bon Jovi guitarist would be, from now on, spending the nights in orange overalls being Bubba’s bitch while Crusher watched the door.
I even thought of writing a blog about it and formulated ideas on the train between sneaking peeks at the cute chick reading the book who made my day, thinking I should declare my feelings to via a disturbing SMS to mX newspaper’s stalker letters page. Anyway, I digress.
So when I went to find the story for some inspiration to provide you with witty and ribald comment I realised that Richie Sambora is actually a fat Adelaide idiot with a mullet named Romeo Pacifico, who changed his name to Richie Sambora and obtained $25 million in credit from various financial institutions. Pacifico copped a 16-year sentence for what I reckon was a pretty clever act of deception.
Which leaves my planned blog about Sambora’s comeuppance and comparing him to Al Capone rather redundant.
Why would you compare him to Al Capone? I hear you ask.
I’m glad you asked.
Well, if the real Sambora was jailed for credit fraud it would be a lot like how Al Capone, a mass-murdering thug who used fear and corruption to remain untouchable, finally got his by being indicted for tax fraud. OK, so he never got what he should have, but his life turned to shit, his crime empire crumbled and he died soon after a broken man.
The reason why the prospect of the real Richie Sambora being jailed didn’t raise eyebrows is because, like Al Capone, he has to be called to account for atrocities including:
- Being in Bon Jovi and co-writing most of the songs
- His backing vocals on Blaze of Glory
- Endorsing sex with teenagers in the film clip for Sleep When I’m Dead
- His fucking dress sense
- Ripping Peter Frampton off by using a “talk box” with his guitar
- All his solo efforts
- Appearing in Staying Alive, the shitful follow up to Saturday Night Fever and rival to Grease 2 as worst movie ever
- Getting to shag Heather Locklear and Denise Richards (the cunt)
The least he deserved is 16 years, even if it wasn’t for actual crimes committed.
Rachel said
I Think you need to go fuck yourself because I and many other people do believe that richie is a good guy and even though he does make some mistakes in life, who in the hell doesnt?? the only reason we hear about his DUI offense is because hes famous, if you, on the other hand got one, no body would hear about it, not making a big deal of it because its only you, a piece of shit that needs to get laid.
obviously you dont have any sense of humor for “Sleep when im dead” and **sniff Sniff** do i smell jelousy of the band??
P.s. Your a cunt
HAVE A NICE DAY BITCH!
clubwah said
a piece of shit that needs to get laid.
Do you know me Rachel?
I actually don’t mind Bon Jovi – it’s the last two points that really stirred my resentment.
Bron said
Rachel sounds charming. Abusive but pretending not to be by using emoticons.
Lame.
Rachel said
who are you clubwash??
clubwah said
Better than unwashed
Rachel said
huh?? i dont understand. lol
Bron said
Not surprising.
Rachel said
i just think its rediculous you guys have to bash richie like this. its unbelievable how cold hearted people can be. Give the guy a break.