If you’re gonna get caught in a scandal …

According to Associated Press, Formula 1 boss Max Mosley is under pressure to resign after he was exposed by a British tabloid enjoying a Nazi-style orgy with five prostitutes.

If you’re gonna get caught in a scandal you might as well do it big time. All that’s missing from that descriptor are the words “dwarf”, “glass coffee table” and ”found tied up like a Christmas turkey with an orange stuck in his mouth”. 

TV Review - Gladiators

 

Gladiators
Seven
Sunday, 6.30pm

This is crap, cheesy television at its absolute best!

What is it? A rehash of the show which took TV by storm in the 1990s where a bunch of extremely mascular meat heads who could crush your skull with their bare thighs and tear a new arsehole in a bull elephant try to stop contestants from winning certain challenges - there’s also men gladiators and challengers too.
Challenges include having to climb a stepped pyramid without being pushed off by a gladiator, clinging to ropes draped around a swinging sphere for one minute without falling off or having the gladiator remove a flag from your back, or getting through obstacle courses while being pummeled by gladiators.

First impressions: You want to hate it, but before you know it you’re cheering as a contestant throws Gladiator Amazon off the elevated podium. The hosts, Tom Williams and Zoe Naylor, who gets to show off her cleavage in ways not possible on McLeod’s Daughters,are there to simply introduce each challenge and ask a few questions to the combtatants and don’t take up any more show time than they need to.
Former Rugby League referee Bill Harrigan seems made for the job.
Gladiators include former AFL star Anthony Koutoufides, former Olympic pole vaulter and Ralph magazine regular Tatiana Grigorieva.

Verdict: Whoever at Seven thought of bringing this back is a genius. It’s fun family TV that’s almost pantomime, with heroes, villains and fun scenarios in the challenges. Seven have done a great job with the Sunday evening time slot in scheduling harmless, even old-fashioned TV that might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but hits the mark with many others, especially families.
I’d love to see the Gladiators used to tackle contestants in Dancing with the Stars and It Takes Two as they perform.

Rating: Good stuff, though I reckon it would be a hell of a lot more watchable if there were huge spikes and tigers to make things a little more challenging - yep, spikes and tigers.

Brighton residents with more dollars than sense

I nearly spat out my tea this evening watching Channel 7 news, which had a story about a protest by the well-to-do residents of Brighton, in Melbourne, who were protesting for the re-installment of manual railway gates.

The rail company wants to install electric boom gates, pretty much like everywhere else in the fucking world, but they want the antequated system back because it’s a quaint reminder of Brighton’s heritage - I wonder how many of them live in one of the horrible neo-Georgian townhouses that popped all over the suburb in place of some of Melbourne’s most beautiful old homes.

Some of these idiots even went as far as to stand across the train line holding placards to oncoming trains - smart! 

I wonder how many of these fools don’t give a flying fuck about heritage and are actually worried that boom gates come with the added sound of warning bells? There’s always an alterior motive with such protests.

Get into the 21st century cock heads.

Things you see watching TV! #2

During the football today there were ads for Today Tonight that showed a story about a real-life home eviction of a woman, who I assume has defaulted on her mortgage.

It’s quite distressing stuff. The woman claims she never received a warning and is understandably in no hurry to vacate. The officers from the Sheriff’s department obviously want to get things over with, though is there a need to tell this poor woman the sob story of “can you please leave, we have two more of these after you”.

Oh you poor fascist bastards! What sort of person does this kind of job, that forces families out of homes on behalf of banks? Whatever the merits of eviction why would anyone want to do it? Even parking officers think they’re cunts.

The things you see watching TV! #1

There I was with my daughter snuggled up on the couch watching Geelong bend over and sodomise Essendon and once again leaving Matthew Lloyd goalless. So, what could there to complain about?

Nothing as far as the footy is concerned, but when you’re sitting there watching any program with your children do you have to be subjected to road safety ads showing the aftermath of motorcycle ads, including “hands that look like they’ve been through a blender”?

I know it’s not the real thing, and the ads are there to serve a purpose, but it’s a bit much for kids to put up with.

Zimbabwe - let’s hope the bastard goes

 

I remember, as a self-confessed Howard hater, hiw nervous I was before the last election and pondered how I’d cope if he won another term. In the end if Howard won my life wouldn’t have changed apart from the fact I’d propbably have a lot more reason to write angry blogs and yell at the TV during Lateline.

So, you can only imagine what supporters of Zimbabwe’s Opposition are feeling at the moment.

Counting has started, with the usual accusations of interference with voters, but there’s a quiet confidence that the tide is turning. For the sake of this beautiful and once proserous country, lets hope Mugabe is kicked out of office and finds exile somewhere far away.

Greenies salivate at bullshit car pollution figures

The Age, still smug over convincing a few people to turn a few lights out for an our before going back to their usual high-consuming lives, has published a story headlined Car lovers drive pollution surge which says “Victorian motorists have contributed to a massive surge in greenhouse gas emissions, with State Government figures showing transport pollution has soared by more than 25% in the past two decades.”

Shocking stuff. But then about 10 paragraphs later this line: Road transport, which includes all passenger vehicles and truck freight, is the largest component, contributing 14.8% of the state’s total emissions (I would have thought it was much higher).

Truck freight? So it’s not just car lovers then. That’s what the headline implied - lying fucks!

Interesting too how the story does not mention how much growth there has been in the number of vehicles in the past two decades - selective fucks!

What shits me about these kinds of stories is that it assumes that people get up in the morning and get on the West Gate, Eastern or Monash Freeways to get stuck for 40 minutes because they love nothing better than  listening to Kate and fucking Hughsey. Or that when they have to drive grandma to hospital it’s simply because they fancy the drive. Why are cars becoming the new smoking? I am fucked if I’m going to apologise to any cunt for driving a car or justify when or where I fucking well use it.

The story then goes on to say that these damning statistics will bolster opponents of Sir Rod Eddington’s recommendations to link Melbourne’s freeways - that’s all we need, more fucking NIMBYs.

Don’t these stupid fucking people realise that if there were seamless freeway links and better traffic flow that cars would spend less time on the roads thus there would be less pollution. Same with parking spots.

Greens MP Greg Barber predicted Labor would “lose votes everywhere” if it built the new road tunnel. He said the project would “soak up billions of dollars that could be used more efficiently moving people around by fast public transport”.

Yeah? Well Greg Barber knows shit!

There needs to be better public transport AND better roads. One need not be stronger than the other. We live in a huge city and unlike some inner city types, who live, work and score drugs within a one kilometre radius, most people have to work, access services and shop well beyond where they live.

For fuck’s sake, let’s stop this anti-car bullshit and ensure that Melbourne is easily accessible by all forms of transport.

NB: The author catches the train to work everyday.

Kansas toilet woman case a bit clearer

It’s been revealed that Pam Babcock, the Kansas woman who locked herself in a toilet for two years wasn’t exactly sitting on the dunny for the whole time, as everyone somehow believed.

Not that the truth is much different or any less bizarre.

According to many media outlets including the Hays Daily News, Babcock’s boyfriend Kory McFarren told police Babcock, originally from Utica, had not left the restroom for about two years. Police believe she had been sitting on the toilet, to which she physically was stuck, for about a month. Medical personnel had to remove the woman from the toilet seat at the hospital.

A month on the shitter doesn’t seem so bad now.

In a further twist to this story, McFarren, who was charged for not doing anything to help Babcock, has been charged for another, unrelated offence - lewd and lascivious behavior.

According to the Hayd Daily News, he was arrested for exposing himself to his neighbours’ teenage daughter and some friends, while the girls were in a hot tub.

“This has been going on for a long period of time,” the neighbor said. “While we were using our pool or hot tub, he would stand in his window and watch and play with himself. It has become much worse lately.”

This will be one TV dramatisation I’d wanna see.

 Postscript: I love this pic Sky News used to illustrate the “woman on toilet” story. Something tells this wasn’t what it really looked like.