If there is a God why did he make Kirk Cameron?

 

In case you didn’t know, former teen idol Kirk Cameron became so stricken with guilt for his role in imposing Growing Pains on the world that he found God to repent his sins; in the same way that child killers do shortly before going to the chair.

Not content with going away and spending his days in remote monastry in silent prayer, he formed a multi-media evangelical Christian ministry called The Way of the Master, with a guy named Ray Comfort, who reminds me of an English teacher I wished death upon in Year 10.

The duo use television, radio, books and the internet to present their ultra-Christian values and, while not as disturbing as the wackos who use religion as a means to peddle hate, they are pretty pushy in  getting their message across using selective passages from the Bible to back up their views where it suits them. 

Not content with using “proof” to disprove evolution and teaching us how to “Witness” homosexuals, Jews and Muslim Acts, the pair use everyday things to prove that everything was intelligently designed by God and that scientific theories such as evolution and atomic creation are rubbish.

This is no more evident than with the humble banana, which as you’ll see in this enlighting video  is made to perfectly fit the creases of our gripping hands and even has an ergonimcally designed top which is as easy to open as a Coke bottle - what more proof do you want that God exists? I always knew that Darwin fellow was full of shit.

One thing though. While I admit that even the Swedish couldn’t have invented a better banana, I’d like our right-wing fundi’ bible-bashing friends, to explain what the hell was our creator thinking when he came up with oranges and coconuts? And have you tried gutting a fish?

Parental guilt trip neglects the real offenders

 

We’ve become such a judgemental society that now the smallest thing blows up to become the biggest issue of the day. Party boy Corey is a case in point, where the reaction and subsequent publicity about a kid whos party got out of hand was way out of proprtion with the actual event.

This week’s fodder for the tabloid press, talback hacks and the swarmy bitch Anna Coren is a mother who dared put her toddler’s mishap at the hands of her pet dog as a boys-will-be-boys thing.

Alicia Cottier has become the most hated mum in Australia since, well since Corey’s mum pissed off to the Gold Coast leaving him to, if you believe the hype, destroy the entire City of Casey.

Why? Because when her two-year-old son Noah tugged at the mastiff-stafforshire cross’s ears and it lashed out and bit him on the face, she refused to have the dog destroyed saying that it as the boy’s fault and refused to have the dog taken away or put down.

Warning fatigue

We are all going to die. The question is how.

I’m not talking about our individual mortality, but as a species. If global warming (has that earned proper noun status yet?) doesn’t kill us, genetically modified food, terrorism, over-population, exotic influenza, US foreign policy and all manner of pending catastrophies will vye for the title of biggest fuck-off threat to mankind.

Which is why I am finding difficult to grasp the concerns about Melbourne’s Port Phillip Bay channel deepening project. What started as a temporary threat to the bay’s ecology is now the total destruction of the bay and all life within it; according to some of the protestors who welcomed the dredging ship Queen of the Netherlands into port.

Oscars Exclusive - Blanchett wins Best Actress

 

Cate Blanchett better start practicing her Academy Award acceptance speech because Club Wah can reveal that she has won the 2008 Best Actress Oscar.

How do we know this? It’s obvious, if you look at Clause 2.3.4 in the Official Rules of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences pertaining to Academy Award voting states that: “In voting for all award categories for actors and actresses, preference will be given to any actor who extends themselves playing the following roles:

- People with disabilities, especially retards, dummies and anyone who’s a bit mental. 
It’s worth noting here that while Leonardo DiCaprio was nominated for a Best Supporting Oscar for his role as Arnie Grape in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, it was decided not to give him the award because he did not have to extend himself.

EXCLUSIVE - Mars man mystery solved

The internet is abuzz after the release of this photograph, taken in 2004 by the Mars explorer Spirit, which appears to show a human, or ape shaped form that looks a lot like previous photographs purporting to have captured Bigfoot.

Club Wah thinks it might actually be …    

It takes two, surely

When a big story breaks you read all kinds of things as the news services attempt to satisfy your hunger for more and more information. This happened today on Australia’s news web sites, which went from having a one-sentence AP story about reports of Heath Ledger’s shock death to black-top web news specials with stories, tributes and biographies within an hour or so.

Within all that you read some weird stuff, like this story in The Age about the sleeping pill that Ledger was said to have been prescribed.

Follow that dream, before it’s too late

The shock death of Heath Ledger attracted predictably large numbers of tributes and comments on the newspaper web sites. Among the polite, non-judgemental messages of condolence was the usual scattering of “he took drugs so he deserved to die” bullshit pieces of divine wisdom, that are sadly to be expected when this sort of tragedy occurs.

Then there were the “why would a famous person who has it all want to kill themselves?” comments, which demonstrate there really needs to be a lot more education about the hideous scourge that is depression.

Hidden amongst the comments on the Herald Sun web site was this one by Dustyn of Richmond, who I’m sure is a nice fellow if not foolishly naïve enough to think that we actually give a shit about his fantasies.

Beware the Rudd haters

All those people who accused anyone who dared criticise the Howard Government as “left-wing, latte-sipping Howard haters” have taken it upon themselves to spread their own hatred to the incumbent, for no other reason than that he is a popularly elected Labor prime minister.

The trouble with the whole Howard-hater tag is that it deflected the reasons why people disliked the former prime minister and his government.

Despite what the pig-headed conservatives who coined the term would have you believe, John Howard wasn’t hated simply because he was a Liberal prime minister. When he first came into power and toughened the country’s gun laws after the Port Arthur massacre, Labor voters (except those who hunt and vote) agreed with him, as they did his decision to send Australian troops into East Timor.

The so-called Left didn’t oppose Howard for the sake of opposing him. He had to actually show what a bastard he really was before people started sharing more than a passing dislike based on political or idealogical differences.